"don't interrupt me."

my thoughts screeched... to a halt.

again....

"My head plays it over and over,
Don't interupt me."
"all dolled up in straps", the national


yes, this happens to us all. irritating, yes. confusing as well, and disorienting. when one is interrupted from the thoughts ocurring at that moment, the result is most often bewildered frustration. i'm sure we have all stepped in this place.

crisp and cold, clean and bare; sunfilled at times---- it has been a lovely three weeks. decemeber, in all of her four days, has graced us with unusually pleasant existance.

surely we will awake from the bliss of it all and find ourselves drenched in a puddle of reality: blunt, as our dreams swim about in the pools by our feet. afterall, it IS oregon.

once again, our planet has fallen asleep for a season. for a few months, she is aware of her age: old. daylight is scarce in the afternoon, passing as it unfolds, and mornings late.

every so often you find yourself forced to stare into the face of a mass of what has passed and been hidden away; swept under the rug i suppose, until this very moment you are now caught up in... memory stirs, emotion is tapped, and pain again. i once read in a book that one of the characters, a complete artist, experienced beauty and ugliness to such a high degree that he was almost unable to endure the pain of watching others suffer and die.

i think about that character often. when you are an artist, you feel/see/and hear everything around you to its fullest extent. it can be an ultimate blessing and a crippling curse.

however, life is life. happening regardless of your person- artist, scientist, man, woman, child... its all happening. now.

and i,
remain,
insane.
-c